Rust rules and Paint is sussy. See that rust on the body of my ’68 Charger? I trust that rust. It’s reliable. That rust and me have an understanding. It’s not pretending to be anything other than a rapid aging process that will one day yield a lighter, if not sketchier automobile. I appreciate its candor.

Paint? It hides a lot of ugliness and it simply cannot be trusted. Who knows what evil lurks below any shiny, happy fakeness. I see Paint and instantly begin to question its motives. Where has it been? Who has it been with? Has that Paint been to prison? It’s up to something shady for sure. I’ll bet it cuts in front of old ladies in line at the tollbooth.

I avoid Paint like the plague but I celebrate Rust’s entire catalog. Surface Rust, rust holes, rust on chrome, rust on rust—its all good, which is why I made this here cuddly soft hoodie for you and for me. Get one and revel in the beautiful honesty of a rusty automobile.