When it’s time to party then it’s time to put on the only appropriate skull protector available on the open market today—the FSM Party Hat!
This mesh snap-back hat will fit you, your dog, your dawg, your BFF, and your mood. It’s crafted from durable yet adorable P-32 Unobtanium Weave with the sought-after YeeYee liner. What’s that mean to you? Absolutely nothing, which is what you’ll feel like you paid for this fine piece of hater-blocking equipment the moment you pop it on your top.
The Party Hat also offers built-in Bluemolar PGS technology. What’s that? It’s literally a Party Guidance System. What’s that do? It helps you navigate any social setting no matter how many haters are in the house! Spot a loser on your Six? Pull the flat bill down .2mm and give them the side-eye as you exit Stage Right. Got a pair of soul-sucking automotive gossip hounds flanking you? Quick! Grab both sides of the bill firmly with your hands and switch to Curved Bill Mode! This will shield your vision so that you can ignore the hate and walk right out of their lives like they were never present. The Party Hat does what no other beanie, ball cap or fedora can do and it’s available right now!
*Bluemolar Technology, P-32 Unobtanium Weave and YeeYee liner not available in some areas.