I love torque. Not just the word—even though it’s a beastly sounding word, torque, but everything that comes along with it. Torque is what pins you back in your seat when you mash gas. Torque is badass.

If torque were a country then its chief export would be broken driveshafts and triggered four-banger enthusiasts. Torque, when coupled with copious amounts of traction equals wheelies and who doesn’t like wheelies? Communists, that’s who!

Ya know what has tons of torque between the fenders and pulls wheelies every damn time it leaves the starting line? The Rubber Duck. By the way, commies can’t catch the Rubber Duck because torque. And science.

If you love torque like I do then get this shirt and improve your life in so many ways that I cannot begin to count because there’s not enough room on this web page to fit them all. Trust me. The bottom of the page is right there. Yeah, I know, its the internet and it’s supposed to be endless but I promise you did in fact reach the end of the page. Weird, I know.