I call this car the G-Wagon because I’m giving it away to one lucky fan on December 31st, 2024. Also, I feel like a gangster when I drive this thing. My wife doesn’t see the appeal of a badass station wagon and thus her opinion of me plummets dramatically whenever I bring another one home. However, she also bought a shower head full of pebbles that were supposedly going to “purify the water we bathe in.” So should we really take automotive fashion advice from her or from me? You’re right, it’s me. I’m that guy and you could be that guy, too.

Get this shirt and maybe score this car for yourself. Even if you don’t end of up with the G-Wagon in your driveway, when you wear this soft, cuddly FSM shirt all the honeys (except my wife) will flock to you like the salmon of Capistrano. You can thank me later. With beer. Or Bourbon. Your choice.