According to the FDA (That’s Fun Development Association) one must follow a strictly regimented lifestyle in order to attain happiness, frivolity and a sunny disposition.

Luckily, the formula for achieving such mental nirvana is blissfully simple; all you really need to find the fun in life is a steady diet of Burnouts, Bacon and Beer and not necessarily in that order. It’s true!

Think about it; have you ever seen anyone with a frown on their face while producing high-rpm tire smoke and/or consuming The Lord’s Pork and beer? No you haven’t! It’s the same as uttering the phrase “yoga pants”; you can’t do that without smiling either! The act of imbibing in the The Big Three is always a good time and the best part of dedicating your life to FUN is that the quantity of the three major ingredients is irrelevant.

Also, the time and place you partake in them doesn’t matter either and I guarantee (I was drunk when I wrote this so I can’t guarantee a damn thing except that I have to pee right now!) that you’re gonna have fun when you focus your energy into producing and consuming Burnouts, Bacon and Beer.

Now, I realize that for some humans this could be a massive lifestyle change and that they will need constant reminders to keep them on the path to goodness and normalcy, which is why I’ve put the recipe for Fun on the back of this here soft outer garment. If you ever find yourself in a situation which prompts a feeling that the fun is in danger of disappearing (like at a funeral or when you’re sitting comfy on the couch and your wife asks what you’re doing and you know that means she’s gonna make you move furniture and redecorate the living room!) then just pull your arms inside of your shirt, twist the shirt 180 degrees around so that the back becomes the front and the front becomes that back, then read the words and let the inspiration send you directly to the parking lot. Then get behind the wheel and unleash hell in the form of a hellacious burnout! You will be transported spiritually and literally into the fun zone and away from the source of evil.

You can thank me later with a toast at the local pub!