Like a sniper silently rising up out of the early morning fog or a short kid reaching up from under the kitchen table for the first piece of birthday cake, the Stealth Edition FSM hat strikes without warning and then is gone without a trace.

This beautifully designed and expertly crafted protector of the cranium will *not* deflect silver bullets from cutting short an epic adventure, nor will it prevent bullies from taking your cake, but it will deftly apply unto you a renewed sense of self-confidence.

Walk into a room wearing this heralded piece of headwear and savor the double-takes as lesser humans wonder, “Is that a Finnegan Speed and Marine Hat he’s (or she’s) wearing?” Then, without breaking stride, turn to those fools and emphatically blurt out, “you damn right it is!” Leave the room with a belly full of satisfaction.

Your life is now complete.