Full disclosure: I can get behind the idea of a hybrid car, but it sure don’t fit my lifestyle.

What I cannot get behind, though, are people who believe that gas-powered cars suck and that an EV is the only way to roam the planet.

Oh wait, yes I can get behind them—when their battery dies I’ll give em nice shove down the road in my thundering, 1,200 ft-lb of torque having, 6,000 lb crew cab American freedom machine!

From Vermont to California, I know fuel is readily available and that my fossil fuel-burnin mayhem machine is ready to save all those dead EVs and their stubborn owners. And since I don’t discriminate I’ll gladly offer assistance, a hearty handshake, and look em in square in the eye and say thank you for saving the gasoline for the rest of us while letting this super soft shirt remind them how dumb they look stranded on the side of the road because there’s no way to recharge your toy car at the top of Pike’s Peak.