You work hard, pay your taxes and do all the right things. You help little old ladies cross the street while expecting nothing in return. 

You, Sir, or Madam, push the shopping cart all the way back to the front of the store once the loot is in your car. You even ride wheelies in that cart, setting a positive example for those around the lot. You don’t double dip and you damn sure don’t grab the last chip.

You never piss in the wind and you don’t mess around with Jim. You respect Guy Code. You don’t show up to a party empty handed. If you fart in the car, you crack a window on each corner of the cabin for maximum cross-flow ventilation. You definitely don’t lock the windows pre-flatulance like my wife does.

Long story short, you are the best kind of human—You’re kind and you rewind. So, with all of those positive self-attributes I want personally give my seal of approval because you have earned the right to wear this specific shirt when you’re forced to attend a wedding on a holiday weekend or a baby shower during the World Hot Dog Eating Contest.

Your free time is just as important as their “event” so let ‘em know how you really feel about being there.