Gasoline—A love story. 

Dear Gas,
How do I love you? Let me count the ways;
1. You are available everywhere and you do not discriminate. Whether I’m driving a stock Toyota mini-truck or a 330 mph Top Fuel Dragster you are there for me. From 90 octane pump gas swill to explosive Nitromethane, which powers the fastest accelerating automobiles on Earth, fossil fuels make the world go round.

2. You smell amazing. If 120 octane race fuel were available as cologne, I would bathe in that sh%t and the ladies would flock to my scent like ants on a picnic basket.

3. You disappear because you are magical. If I spill a gallon of race fuel in my driveway, that fuel and 20 bucks will evaporate in minutes.

4. Finally, you are an excellent cleaning agent. If I’m walking down the street and I stumble into ditch, landing in a 30 foot deep vat of used ball bearing grease, do you know what will clean the grease off my Wookie fur? You, Gas, you! Thank you, Gas, Thank you.