A lot of people question why I keep on racing Blasphemi. Some point out that the Bel Air is heavy. Others are quick to remind me of how many Hemis I’ve grenaded.

Yeah, it’s ridiculously expensive to fix when the engine breaks and, Yeah, there are a lot of reasons why I shouldn’t continue racing this car. Everyone who’s ever pointed out these facts is correct. But those people have never experienced Fourth Gear with over 1,000 lb-ft of torque under their right foot. Fourth is where the party is at.

Blasphemi pulls like no other car I’ve ever driven once I bangshift my way into high gear. It feels like I’m Han Solo and me and Chewie are making the jump to Lightspeed. Every damn time I find Fourth Gear I swear I’m going to hyperspace or plaid.

Blasting from 125 mph to 160 plus mph in just three seconds is a rush that only sex and Blasphemi can provide. You’ll likely never get to drive the car but you can celebrate the feeling by copping this cuddly soft FSM shirt and then wearing it while hooking up with your significant other. You can thank me later. With Beer.