Ever been “Cosmic Bowling” before? That’s where you go to a bowling alley at night, on purpose, and try your best to get strikes and spares under the pale glow of majestic black lighting while the best of “Now That’s What I Call Music Vol.18” beats the cones out of the alley’s subwoofers. It’s a vibe.

Suds, fried spuds, good buds and the potential for either a food fight or a skeeball tournament to spontaneously combust makes Cosmic Bowling night must-see TV. Are there better ways to spend your time? Maybe, but you ignore the DNA splashed around the alley because you know anything can and will happen at Cosmic Bowl when the homies are out.

This beanie was woven from cuddly soft unicorn fur for just such occasions. It doesn’t matter if it’s summer in Schenectady or winter in Walla Walla—with the Cosmic Blue beanie on your dome you’re ready for adventure or a serious pat-down from local law enforcement. So get one now because getting one later might suck; if you wait too long they may turn on the normal lights, which would reveal way too much.